I spent some more time with my Aunt Sally lately and this woman never ceases to amaze me. She's been reduced to walking with a walker which even that is a challenge for her now. Her legs get in her way more than anything but it didn't stop this woman from climbing into my Jeep so that I could take her to dinner. She just had me bring her a foot stool and to stand behind her in case she would fall back. It took a few minutes as this 63 year old Cerebral Palsy riddled woman who's so short that even the bottom of the front seat meets her at her chest climbed right in and got comfortable. She doesn't like to go to restaurants for the difficulty of getting in and out and her distaste of folks staring at her with any pity. Yet, for the first time ever she agreed to me taking her somewhere. The restaurant and a gift shop and she just took her time scooting her walker around and even with the walker she has a hard time moving. It was a proud moment for me and I could see for her too! I love this woman for her love, her courage and for staying true to herself in spite of the world and people around her constantly trying to challenge that. She inspired yet another poem I'd like to share.

Sallypride
Ride on soul star dreamer to a right on held high
Let your soul take on Sally's pride if she'll work it
Can she just get a human slice right for a piece
Body’s wrapped itself up to a different drum song
The drummer plays on south while her soul heads high
Can you dig her playin from inside a real time gig
Sally brings to you a feel me not see me step
She flips up a power of mind over body claim

Riding along with her baby boy through a darkly hicktion
Smiling righteous because he understands her reality
He’s proud to be an elemental fierce lord of light for her
She basks in his sparklin playful high stepin connection
Sally can be a hard one to those who pity so blindly
She’ll slap down a Betty and flame back a bitter swill
Look to her with a feel good sensational held up sweet
She can bring you to a world of Sally Walker fulfillment

Sally held it up high today for her baby boy who dreams of joy
Her baby boy brought to her a sequent red dress to slip on right
A pair of party slippers she slipped on for a howlin time tight
Dance for me those that don't see me under a crown so gracious
Hop on her train to a bliss so rich of baked apples and sweet tea
Her baby boy laughed aloud to a treat they savored soulfully
The baby boy also a man of a darkness drag recovery holds his marvel
Could she be more a Queen of her own control guarded in well

Sally loves the joy she gives freely if you work just her mind
It’s a ticket on a train whose spirit shines through the darktion
Time can never be enough to hold such an unconditional drive
Her love can lift you from your knelt down destructional cry
Hold your heart and believe she's golden righteous and forgiving
She only seeds in honest words work and committed lush treats
Through her distrust she peers to your soul in order to deal
This her boy holds on a slice of undeniable glory and Sallypride
D.Lynam5-1-07

Big Sally's Red Independence

I returned home to my birth place, Lexington, Kentucky to visit my Father, Stepmother and the rest of the Lynam clan. One in particular I'm looking forward to seeing is my Aunt Sally.

She has always been a beacon of spirit, pride and determination. I've always looked up to her and admired her. Most of all her love is immense and unyielding.

When Sally was a young girl it was found that she had Cerebral Palsy and it crippled her to were she could barely walk and slurred her speech. In the time she grew up she was looked on with pity and hid from the world.

By the time I came along she had already come into her own yet had so much more to prove to the world and herself. She loved all her kin's children with great joy. Sally was not one to accept any one's pity any longer. As a matter of fact just a look her way with anything but proud eyes incurred her wrath and sometimes life long silence.

In the summer of 1975 my brothers and I were visiting and I noticed she had a car. Not just a brand new fire red car but a car nonetheless. The family gave her such a hard time about this because she surely wouldn't be able to drive with her legs as bad as they were. With a thumb of her nose she had the car configured for a handicapped person so she could drive with her hands. She drove us boys all over town with her head held up and a glorious smile. Ever since that summer she has been a source of great inspiration. She went on to get a job and eventually by her own house. She proved beyond a doubt she was Big Sally not only to me but anyone that looked to her with anything but proud eyes.


Big Sally's Red Independence

Big Sally rides in on her red independence
Filling the air with a sense of pride today
Some said she wouldn't live another
Crippled in her physical dependence
Yet try to take her pain away
and she'll pull it in all her own
She built her righteous house
from the hearts of pitiful sighs
You can set her religion on fire
Yet she'll be the one to burn it down
Don't be mistaken in your wit
Big Sally will show you a hard back
She lives as free as her soul inspires
Her mother hold searches for a child
I'm Big Sally's baby boy for her
She loves to hear my beam delight
Sing to me a Sally ride to rapture
A solitude of flights to a white room
where her momma speaks in a white dress
She brings Big Sally a peaceful joy
Comforts her with a hush to kiss
Big Sally drives on in her red independence
Picks up her baby boy, her peaceful boy
Don't' bring to her a dead heart
Nor a blind passion with a false enchantment
Big Sally shoulder me a daydream delightful
A big red inspiration of independence

D.Lynam 11/98

Isn’t My Beloved Mother, Joy

Hello again my friends! Today I bring you a touch of the spiritual and a whole lotta Momma. Through my many journeys discovering my own spirituality and faith, like some I gather in many aspects of myth. These myths have helped me on my way in understanding my own spirit and faith. One such myth has brought me a lot of comfort and joy. Angels have helped me enjoy my life just a bit more and brought me love when I felt none. I've had several in my life but the one closest to my heart is Joy. Her name is Joy that is. A friend one day gave me a book on how to find your personal angel. It told you to sit quietly and just let the name come to you. Joy came to me.

One day I was thinking a lot about my mother, who passed, 15 years ago at the young age of 48. A lot of the warm and comforting thoughts that flowed through me of my Mother reminded me a lot of Joy. It dawned on me the possibility that Joy and my Mother were now one and the same. And so this passage of thoughts to words surrounding rhythm was composed.

Isn’t My Beloved Mother, Joy

Joy speaks my angel’s breath
Floats in to hold my heart’s passion
in wings precious and whole
The sweet Lord, I’m not sure to deny
And for that I have cried
pictured lips confess what has
left me because of persecution
For our persecution we cry the fight
Joy can I receive a life that mirrors
my dreams, my spiritual
Embracing me I can sense my Joy
She carols to me a joyous flavor
I sing to my angel, who smiles
from a voluminous heart
Joy stands here, no sky around her
In my stretch she radiates
Joy is here to drag my blood
With a glorious smile and blues
Sweet Lord can she posses me
Take of me some disease
in which to overflow her vile
Fill them all good God
More to grant, plenty to fill a prescription
Weak is this to dispense
some of me in trade
Yet Joy holds my vein as it is milked
I ask her to hold my soul
And whisper a dream
Breathe to me some honeyed freshness
Take my song to her brightness
To reach my mother Joy
Her pride in me to have found my way
Her Joy in me behind her poignant kiss goodbye
Oh cherished little hope comforts her shine
Mamma’s sweet loving sound
Take this sharpness away
Isn’t my beloved Mother, Joy


My Mamma can be my truest dream
from time to time
Her loving spirit gives her children
a high winged flight in a blue sky bright
Devours my dreadful pain and beats out
my Black Blood Demon fight
She sings my heart a peaceful blow
Sweet dreams Mamma my Angel Joy
I look too hard not to let my simple life
be my happy soul, I know
Mamma I cry and reach to my heaven
Bring me hope, daughter to a southern woman’s’ womb
My blessed Angel Joy my Mother
Sing sweet love to me a joyful
Precious Mother, Angel, Joy

D.Lynam 10/98

No longer Buggin Me

I've spent the last 16 years battling the fear, the stigma, the ass kicking and the Cancer loving toxicity of HIV. It sucked the life out of everything worth experiencing and the prospect of real sustainable bliss. I've had what some would call a spiritual awaking, epiphany or just simply a life altering reality change. I no longer live in the darkness of HIV but in the light of a joyful, deeply saturated bliss. And one thing is clear, I AIN'T GOIN BACK! Below is something I wrote as I realized enough was enough. I realized that the only thing I had planned for my future was, I made out a will and to make sure I had plenty of life insurance for my family. I also realized that wasn't a plan for the future but a plan for death. Buggin, is putting it mildly but she ain't tah buggin me no more!

Buggin Me

I see all that is tearing me down
It slips behind me and lays upon my neck
Playing in the back yard with a howl here and there
Discretely takes a drink from my joyful cup
He is my friend for he has a gift to give just me
Yet I’m not ready to come from the water now
No matter how cold I am and how warm it is there
Leave me to jump and splash and don’t point to the sun
For I don’t want to care about such things
Quit beating me down and taking my joy
I know your there no matter how much or little you tap
Bizz a bizz buzz I hear you and know you want blood
Cause me such angry frustration cause I know what’s to come
A night of itching and restlessness bang on my pillow
I’m looking at you now so don’t you dare look away
I’m going to be in your face don’t fuck with me now
I got things tah do and your buggin me and buggin them
Now sit your ass down and wait till I call you to come dry me off

D.Lynam 2-13-06

Erick Brown

Erick Brown is my loving and wonderful man. He's been my joy, my sweetness, my source of strength and comfort. Although I have many thoughts and words for my husband it was my strong attraction and sensual desire that drove me to him. This poem is a tribute to my desire for him and his effect on me.

Erick Brown

Sweet Gem Daddy lush dream
smile to me your lavish fold of flesh
Blow to my face a gentle smack
with a rapture behind a face down
I’m an extravagant piece of joy
for your lascivious freshness to tour
Be delirious of my anima when away
No need to work a modest plot,
when you serve such a salacious glitter
Sending out your inspirational intoxication
Be my Big Papa Take Down
Shake me a slow round love trip
A buck martini dip three olives up
Weak to the ring up I travel on
Only come on strong to find purity
With my breath I sip to savor your lips
Oh precious lover this is no pornography
Its but a fancy of your passionate joy

D.Lynam 02/05/99

A Journeyman's Bitter Junket

I feel I'm a pretty passionate person and I don't necessarily have to understand exactly how someone feels to understand or empathize a bit their plight etc. Yet, even though I've not been bashed or set on fire by some self-loather my rage erupts no less than if I had. I didn't know Matthew but he was my brother in the life. This was some passionate thoughts that came about after seeing the docudrama on his tragic and horrific end.

For you Matthew, for my brothers and sisters and for anyone who's humanity was rocked by Matthew's story. This is for our strength and the souls they'll never take away from us no matter how hard they try.

A Journeyman's Bitter Junket

You work a black heart enough
Trick with a slick shake prowl
Stake your claim on a killer justice
Despise a stock and trade ride
A journeyman's bitter junket
Slash our passion trip Sallyride
Pull it out to rape our cloak out
Beat your thorn to spill blood
As if to reign a kingdom of god
Where's the Mother's pride in it
Oh Hellion rake your shriek back
Sell that policy back to its red hanky left
Father of your delightful deception
Hold tight to your wrenching strain
It’s not just a solitary soulful state
That you inflict on but a Queer Nation
A thicktion of The Kingdom of God

D Lynam 12/04/98

35

From the age of 27 I've lived with the fear of my impending death due to my becoming HIV positive. My life spiraled down to so many dark places because I thought of my life as being over. For what ever reason, I can't seem to recall why, I had it in my head I'd be dead by the age of 35. Horrifying with such despair it was to be so young and feel you have nothing to hold on to but the thought you'd be dead by 35. Well 35 came and went leaving me with a sense that I'd beaten off death for the time being. I wasn't completely assured of my life but at least HIV hadn't won out yet. The image with myself, my niece Lola and Oprah is the sign of a new day and a life that I'm now living instead of waiting for death.

35

Black Dog Trick is Coming
Sweet little joy ride result
Creeping up my back slide
Do a quick psychic click 35
Pending my reservation changes
Sweep me on a jack up trial
Will you bring me a sweet low
Don't break me down a slow dive
Spirit is high to a jive trade
35 can be a trick to my despair
I will sing to my Joy protector
Joy can train this Black Dog
She's a joyful Sallygirl
Big Papa take down love
My gem daddy lush dream
My sweet sistah Niction Right
A Soul Star Sister baby girl
Will his prowl shake me of you
A physical system elimination
I work it to spin my train
Black Dog 35 on the tracks
Put him up for a slab jive
Time to slip him a jack down
Do you dare strip my lush slice
Lick your subtle wound sweet Dog
This Lana is 36 sippin a cool drank

D.Lynam 5-00